Emily Ladau
Hi, I’m Emily Ladau

Kyle Khachadurian
And I’m Kyle Khachadurian.

Emily Ladau
And you’re listening to another episode of The Accessible Stall.

Kyle Khachadurian
What are we going to talk about today, Emily?

Emily Ladau
Oh my god, we can’t even get through our intro anymore like we used to. Yeah. We’re going to talk about the big, old, ugly bill. in the context of Disability Pride Month.

Kyle Khachadurian
And just for $200 billion a month, you can support us on Patreon at patreon.com. Just saying. $2 trillion, $1 trillion, however many trillions of dollars that is gone now or is going to go.

Emily Ladau
And every $1 trillion goes towards, I was going to say, making the accessible dollars.

Kyle Khachadurian
It goes towards the UFC fight on the White House lawn coming up.

Emily Ladau
report us baby i think we have lost our minds honestly a minute into the new record for us yeah well thanks so much for listening bye

Kyle Khachadurian
okay what are we going to talk about today emily okay in all seriousness we really do need to talk

Emily Ladau
about this bill and on the one hand like i am so sick of talking about it but on the other hand i think that there is an aspect of the conversation that is missing except in certain circles which is the fact that we do not have to lie down and take this although if lying down is the comfortable position for you you don’t have to take it even if you are lying down but the point being that midterm elections are a thing and a lot of these changes aren’t slated to take place until a couple of years from now. So yes, this is a massive disaster, but let’s not pout about it for too long because I still believe there’s time to turn it around and maybe that’s just me and my little rose-colored glasses, but I felt like it needed to be said.

Kyle Khachadurian
But I want to pout about it, he says poutingly.

Emily Ladau
The funny thing is he’s not pouting at all. He’s actually cracking up. Yeah, I know.

Kyle Khachadurian
um yeah and you know they’re such sneaky little pieces of right like they they’re probably banking on losing the next election assuming we have one and democrats winning and therefore like with the country’s collective amnesia the cuts are not going to start until there’s a democrat in office or at least not be that impactful until there is and then they can blame that person and it’s just

Emily Ladau
it’s just it’s just it’s just well this is what this is what they love to do like COVID and the mishandling of it was very much in Trump era thing and then when Biden came into office all of a sudden it was like no this is Biden’s fault where was Obama during 9-11

Kyle Khachadurian
I don’t know not the president but like that was that was or used to be or is maybe a Republican and talking about it’s it’s it’s ridiculous they’re ridiculous this bill will kill people

Emily Ladau
um and it’s not gonna be good there’s nothing funny about it like we are no yeah we’re not but it’s not haha funny laughing it’s if you are somebody that genuinely believes that this is some

Kyle Khachadurian
win fiscally because only the people who deserve medicaid will get it i’m sorry to tell you you’ve been duped and i’m also curious who you think deserves medicaid and who doesn’t

Emily Ladau
real question isn’t it like who is worthy of basic protections of a social safety net and also how many people just genuinely have no understanding of how medicaid actually works or what work requirements really mean i think that so much of this is actually rooted in the fact that Republicans have been able to completely pull one over on so many people who are like, well, this doesn’t apply to me and has no effect on me. So why do I care about other human beings? But let me tell you, it’s not just a talking point when we say anyone can become disabled at any time. It’s a real thing. Well, I think Republicans are unfortunately extremely good

Kyle Khachadurian
at messaging. On its face, you want money to go to those who need it and you don’t want it to go who don’t. And if you can save the delta in money between those who do and don’t need it, that’s, I mean, who would disagree with that? The problem is they’re lying to you. Now, I know you know this, you know, they’re just looking for an excuse to gut the piss poor excuse for a social

Emily Ladau
safety net that we somehow are still clinging on to. Right, I mean, it’s not even that it’s a good social safety net in the first place. And I think that the other thing that really gets my goat and my gears and gets my panties in a bunch.

Kyle Khachadurian
Wow, you’re just all kinds of f***ed up today. You bought a goat just to get it.

Emily Ladau
I have a bee in my bonnet. Okay, I’ll stop.

Kyle Khachadurian
How many of those expressions involve animals in weird places?

Emily Ladau
I’m just so frustrated because I went to meetings with Republican Hill staffers and They smile and nod and they say that they understand and they say that they want to return Medicaid to its, quote, original intent of protecting the, quote, most vulnerable. And it just makes me wonder, you know, how can you look at me with a smile on your face and say that you care about the people who Medicaid is supposed to serve and then do everything else that you’re doing when it comes to, for example, stripping away the rights of people to be pro-choice? Like, I just.

Kyle Khachadurian
Oh, well, I mean, let’s, I mean, oh boy, like if you want to have that conversation, like, yeah.

Emily Ladau
I know, it’s like I went there. It’s two different things, but it’s not two different things.

Kyle Khachadurian
No, but it’s all related because it, you know, it’s like we’ve always said, well, if you want a bad abortion, it’s like, okay, well, okay. But do you want a comprehensive sex ed? Do you want support for the birthing parents? Or do you want like overall universal paternal leave and like making sure the kids don’t go hungry and like funding adequate education? No, they want none of that. They just want women to pump out babies because, of course they do. That’s what women are for, obviously.

Emily Ladau
Right. And my question has always been, when you say you’re pro-life, whose lives are you supporting?

Kyle Khachadurian
None of them. None of them. Like they don’t.

Emily Ladau
And I also feel like I’m in an interesting position as a disabled woman because I feel like I am not the person that they are speaking to when they say, you know, pump out babies because I could potentially pass on my disability.

Kyle Khachadurian
Oh, yeah. They don’t want yours.

Emily Ladau
Right. Which in their minds would create more of a burden on the system. So therefore, what is my worth? That is the question that I have.

Kyle Khachadurian
Your worth is what you can contribute to the American economy. you can’t produce labor you can’t produce value through your labor you are worthless you are nothing in fact you are a drag on the system that always works and is the best and that’s me

Emily Ladau
just a cog in the machine because i can’t contribute to my babies i’m always saying that you’re always calling me the old cog boy okay all of this is so odd to talk about in light of the fact that it is Disability Pride Month and the big ugly bill was signed on day four of Disability Pride Month and also this happens to be the month that is the 35th anniversary of the passage of the Americans with Disabilities Act and we are over here trying to claw our way out of deeper and deeper holes and so i do not exactly know how to feel festive and i have some thoughts on disability pride month and i want to talk about them but you have to say the thing that you said earlier

Kyle Khachadurian
i will say the thing i said earlier but i also before that the the biggest harm potentially in this you no matter who the next president is no matter who the next 10 are assuming we have one you’re not getting that toothpaste back in that tube you’re just not you’re just not you can close

Emily Ladau
the barn door but the horses are already out sorry now it’s just game to me to see how many stupid expressions we can come up with before the end this is what the podcast is really about how

Kyle Khachadurian
many silly animal related expressions can kyle and emily come up with in a in a 45 minute period I said earlier that what is going on during this particular Disability Pride Month makes our past cynicism of this month as a concept feel very quaint.

Emily Ladau
And I just thought that was so perfectly stated because this is absolutely not the first time that we’ve recorded an episode where it’s like, disability pride month no we’re grumpy disabled people and now it’s like oh no we’re we’re really

Kyle Khachadurian
we’re grumpy this month for real for real yeah in that in that sense i suppose we owe a thank you to the white house for giving us a real reason to be grumpy this month okay so you know

Emily Ladau
what i have been thinking about a lot actually the ufc fight on the white house one 2026 that

Kyle Khachadurian
one that that’s what i’m thinking about um it’s what keeps me i can’t stop thinking about it i because America is a circus. Oh, no, it’s a real thing. You can look it up. I’m not even… It sounds like a cartoon, but it’s not. Sorry, what are you thinking?

Emily Ladau
No, actually, everything sounds like a cartoon right now. But you know how in years past, the whole message from the disability community is always don’t be so performative and just act like you care about disabled people. during Disability Pride Month or that you just care about disabled people during National Disability Employment Awareness Month, you know, and don’t act like you only care about disabled people on the International Day of People with Disabilities. Like, you get my point. We have always been so against the performative nature of Pride Months and Awareness Months and things like that and now i find myself doing like a complete 180 where i’m like won’t somebody think of the disabled children like somebody post something please it was how it sort of felt

Kyle Khachadurian
during um pride month where in years past i would very openly make fun of like corporate pride and and like that and now i’m like oh man kind of miss it because i just kind of do like it it say what you want about corporatey and fake and you know empty gesture pride uh of any sort that you want but if nothing else it is sort of a cultural uh cultural thermometer and it’s it’s very markedly missing this year. Although one of my friends did text me a photo of the disability pride flag and said, happy pride month too, which I thought was very funny.

Emily Ladau
I mean, yeah, like I know that the disability pride flag is still more niche. I know the disability pride month is still more niche. And I know that we have spent years railing against corporations for being performative but I think I would clap and squeal with joy if I just saw a few companies posting about disability pride month and I know that there are a few I definitely know that there are a few because I’m working with some behind the scenes but I think that it is a lot less loud and proud and it’s a lot more like let’s tiptoe around it and hope that nobody

Kyle Khachadurian
notices you know i almost think that’s worse just don’t do anything you know if you’re into something like that be loud and proud otherwise don’t do it it sounds because you you can’t both sides human rights you just can’t you can try you can explain it all you want you in fact go ahead

Emily Ladau
and that’s what you’re doing if you’re tiptoeing around stuff like that yeah and i’m noticing it more and more as organizations are just like, well, can’t say this, can’t say this, can’t say that.

Kyle Khachadurian
Because you might offend the absolute worst dregs of society if you say like, trans people deserve rights and also disabled people deserve rights and not to die.

Emily Ladau
And I think people are being like sneaky about it too. And one example that really comes to mind, So the Society for Human Resource Management, or SHRM they’re called, they are the sort of supposedly leading organization for human resource managers. And they made an announcement that they were going to be shifting away from a focus on DEI to just a focus on diversity and inclusion. And they’ve sort of removed the equity piece of the equation. and they’re really focusing more on leaning into the D and the I, and even then their messaging around it has felt kind of questionable.

Kyle Khachadurian
I’m always saying you should lean more into the D.

Emily Ladau
Oh, boy. Oh.

Kyle Khachadurian
It’s too easy. It was too easy.

Emily Ladau
You’re right. Yeah, I know. I would say walked right into that one, but I can’t walk. So anyway, yeah, I just am noticing more and more that companies and organizations are trying to both sides it as much as they can, where they’re like, well, if we just say it this way, and if we just say it this way, then it’s fine. And nobody will be mad at us. And it’s like, oh, no, I am mad at you.

Kyle Khachadurian
I’m so mad at you. I am so mad at you. I’m so mad. And it’s like, don’t forget, and I know you know this, but like, and we say this like once every four minutes, every episode. But like, we are two extremely privileged disabled people. We’re pissed. Like, this, we will probably be fine, knock on wood, if you have it. But like, most of us just won’t, just won’t, just won’t, we’ll die. You know, I don’t know how to make it any, like, this is bad. This is just bad.

Emily Ladau
I need to underscore that you said will probably be fine because when I give talks, you know, when I do presentations, I always give the caveat. And I feel like, honestly, people might be sick of me saying it, but it’s like I am a white disabled person. I come from a degree of socioeconomic privilege. I am not facing imminent threats to housing security or to access to food, right? like basic things. I have healthcare coverage, although I pay through the nose for it. And, you know, I, I name these things because that’s the state that I am in right now, but anybody is one occurrence away from that not being the case anymore.

Kyle Khachadurian
And there’s so many failure points that can, if one of them fails, it could snowball. It happened to me very recently, you know, it’s, you’re never one paycheck away from being a billionaire, but you are probably three paychecks away from being homeless. Most of you, you know, it’s not sorry, off tangent, but anyone else think that the that the term cost of living is like insane? No, just me. Okay, cool. Like, I’m just saying that’s my radical leftist take. But

Emily Ladau
I mean who is to say what the cost of living is I think that’s a huge question and I know that we’re kind of meandering a little bit but it is all related like the cost of living is so incredibly different if you are a disabled person who is paying the disability tax on things and so you know i’m just i guess struggling to feel pride this month and there is a poem um that i love so much called you get proud by practicing by laura yes i love that we will link it but like i don’t want to practice i’m tired i am tired and i am at the point where i’m like we shouldn’t have to practice being proud. We should be allowed to be proud of who we are. But instead, we’re sitting here having conversations about like the literal threat to disabled lives. And again, I know that some people will say there’s cognitive dissonance here because we are two people in current positions of privilege having this conversation. But there is still like a fear in the pit of my stomach that I’m going to have a really hard time getting access to health care or medical equipment right like i i’m still worried we’re just outside

Kyle Khachadurian
of the we’re barely outside of that circle for anyone who who thinks that about us like it’s i’m not saying it’s not great to be here it is and it that is privileged but like it’s not like we are above it all it’s not like you know it’s it’s bad and also like we got to stand up for a

Emily Ladau
fellow for our fellow people come on all right you ableist jerk i’m not standing up for anybody

Kyle Khachadurian
oh god that was that’s the clip that’s look at her face you can’t see her face i can that that that was just pure eating her in and well deserved i thought it was funny so yeah i think all of this

Emily Ladau
is to say i would actually love to see some performance this month truly like please perform for me put up a post about disability pride you know shout it maybe not from the rooftops but at

Kyle Khachadurian
least open your window and maybe like open your first floor window you know what i mean though

Emily Ladau
like i do if you’re afraid to shout it from the mountaintops okay i get it but you just went from

Kyle Khachadurian
roof to mountain where who’s climbing a mountain wow you’re right um well i mean not me maybe maybe somebody maybe probably there you go that is an elevator top of the mirc building very overrated 100 agree i think we i think we realize that together yep yeah waste of time money everything absolutely no point do not recommend don’t grab four new york city tips

Emily Ladau
yeah and and now um welcome to the disgusting new york city public bathroom with kyle and emily oh wait there aren’t any although they are starting to change that that’s nice um i just got off on a toilet tangent so somebody rein me back in please i’m gonna clip that to say that you just got off on the toilet there’s nothing you can do to stop me i hate you so much this is what disabled joy looks like sounds like actually yeah okay thanks for redirecting me on a new tangent that i want to talk about it is actually okay to find some moments of happiness right now

Kyle Khachadurian
yeah don’t ever feel guilty about feeling happy or good during terrible times you need that to live

Emily Ladau
i’m actually struggling with it a lot right now though because my wedding is in just over 100 days as of the recording of this episode.

Kyle Khachadurian
I’m so excited.

Emily Ladau
But like, being happy about that feels like I’m doing something bad.

Kyle Khachadurian
No, I forbid you to feel that way.

Emily Ladau
That is nonsense.

Kyle Khachadurian
But I totally understand. It’s, yes.

Emily Ladau
Yeah, like it’s so interesting to me, the dichotomy where like, I feel like I should be allowed to be excited about something that I have really wanted for my whole life and was told as a disabled person that it probably wasn’t going to happen for me and it is happening I’m excited about it and so that is a disability joy thing and that is a disability pride thing but it’s like how do you square that with the fact that people’s lives are on the line but I think the reality is that people’s lives are at this point always going to be on the line and denying yourself joy is probably not going to save somebody’s life unless your definition of joy is something horrible and murderous in which case i don’t know what to tell you please get therapy

Kyle Khachadurian
it and there’s that old like huff post article that is like i don’t know how to tell you if care about other people oh yeah and with every passing day and like it’s also can we also just not forget just just none of this is normal i know it’s disabled people we don’t like that word i’m very i’m very explicitly using it here nothing that is happening in this country is normal at all. It hasn’t been since 2016. I’m including the Joe Biden years. Nothing that has happened since that man entered the White House the first time has been normal. It’s easy to forget, but that’s why I’m reminding you. None of this makes sense. And every day when you turn on the news, there’s someone on there trying to justify, oh, maybe this or maybe that. He didn’t mean this. He didn’t mean that. And then he does whatever he thought they’re talking. about and then it’s like well how could anyone have known if he just as if he didn’t just save a thing none of this is normal it’s all insane and it’s important that we all remember that

Emily Ladau
all right i’m gonna go off my soapbox now no it’s good to point that out and i think it’s also important for us to point out that it’s not like everything was all sunshine and roses to us when biden was in office i mean i’m sure go back and do a um you know search of our previous episodes during that administration i don’t think we were always so nice to him either no he he he is awful also but not the problem right now no um although i think the real problem is trying to have these conversations and feeling like at this point we’re just talking to our bubble of people who already agree with us but you want to hear a funny story tell me so um i did a sub stack live video last night with liz plank um who is a friend of the pod and i’ve always wanted to say that um and she mentioned something about trump being a eugenicist which yes absolutely he is however one of my family members got an email saying that i was going live on substack and let’s just say that she does not exactly um see eye to eye with my political views and so she like joins the substack live video sees that um there’s there’s a discussion of trump being a eugenicist and um my mom was like oh my god we need to turn

Kyle Khachadurian
this off right now that’s so good i’m sorry that happened to you that is oh man that see this i never watch anything like that live i regret this immensely now i would have oh that’s delicious

Emily Ladau
that is terrible i’m sorry that happened to you yeah i mean it’s fine it’s fine like i i didn’t know what’s happening i put my phone on do not disturb but my mom called me afterwards and was like, hey. Interesting. So, yeah, I just I feel like we’re inside our little bubble. We’re inside our little echo chamber and I want to get out of it. But also right now, I think we just need to be a little bit cozy up in here in our echo chamber and we need to be nice to ourselves and find some time for joy and happiness and disability, pride, whatever that looks like. I don’t know what that looks like.

Kyle Khachadurian
That’s probably because it looks different for everyone. And like, not in the same way that most pride does, man. This is like, we’re all differently disabled and we’re all shaped differently and we all have diabolos.

Emily Ladau
I know.

Kyle Khachadurian
You know what’s so annoying about the phrase differently abled is like, it could have been good and it just isn’t. imagine a parallel universe where that is the like the way that you refer to disabled people and it doesn’t have any ableist undertones that it that it currently carries because the world acknowledges disabled people but isn’t afraid of them or becoming disabled or

Emily Ladau
thinks of them less or in any way okay next episode of the accessible install we are going

Kyle Khachadurian
to debate euphemisms um but no it sucks and it’s horrible and uh if you use it you shouldn’t um it’s this is bad guys is that your final takeaway no my final takeaway is you should feel pride anyway because they can’t take that from you they’ll try but they can’t

Emily Ladau
oh i almost don’t want to say anything because that was good um but you know i don’t know how to be quiet so i guess my final takeaway is you are allowed to love yourself even in a world that

Kyle Khachadurian
I used to not like the like, I used to find it very like silly, the idea that loving yourself is a radical act. I always thought that that was kind of woo-wee, you know?

Emily Ladau
Yeah.

Kyle Khachadurian
But I think in this current time as we record this, that’s probably more true than not. It’s, yeah.

Emily Ladau
I think that’s more a testament to the fact that you’ve evolved as a human being.

Kyle Khachadurian
That’s also definitely true. I still think it’s a little woo-woo-y, but I think it matters.

Emily Ladau
Yeah, woo-woo-y, but in like a good woo-woo, not like a scam woo-woo. If you keep calling woo-woo, it gets real weird.

Kyle Khachadurian
Is that a euphemism for something?

Emily Ladau
Oh, isn’t it in The Sims? If they’re having sex, it’s like, woo-hoo!

Kyle Khachadurian
Yes, it is.

Emily Ladau
Okay. All right. I have to stop talking now. So on that note.

Kyle Khachadurian
Now we know what Emily’s into.

Emily Ladau
You have tracked me into so many things like that. You’re just going to make no action. I’m not going to play it.

Kyle Khachadurian
I’m sorry. I’m not actually going to do any of those, but they are very funny.

Emily Ladau
You’re going to make a compilation clip of all the awkward things that I said.

Kyle Khachadurian
No, I would never. I will do that for you. I would never dare to.

Emily Ladau
Oh, well, I would like that. For me, please, as my birthday gift. Oh, my God, Kyle, your birthday is so soon. Sorry. Yeah, it is. I’m sorry. But also, oh, my God, my birthday also so soon.

Kyle Khachadurian
Yeah, your birthday is so soon. That’s right. That’s what I was saying before. That’s what you were saying. I don’t have a birthday. I’ve never had a birthday in my life.

Emily Ladau
Okay, that’s right. Kyle doesn’t get older. He’s just like a cute little tuck everlasting over here.

Kyle Khachadurian
Yeah, that’s… Yep, that’s me.

Emily Ladau
Let’s all sing happy birthday to Kyle.

Kyle Khachadurian
I’d rather die. I can’t even hear it, but I know you’re doing it. The annoying part is that this is probably going to go out, like, right before or after my birthday. So, like, this is unfortunately perfect.

Emily Ladau
Everybody say happy birthday to Kyle.

Kyle Khachadurian
Emily always does, like, a really cute post on our socials every year that I’m always unaware of. And despite the fact that I say it, I will forget it by the time my birthday happens. And then it will surprise me. And then I will love it because she did it for me. And that is how that’s going to go.

Emily Ladau
I’m glad we had that talk. Okay. Now, I know Kyle said this before, but here’s the real, real. If you want to support us.

Kyle Khachadurian
For our birthdays.

Emily Ladau
For our birthdays. Give us birthday money.

Kyle Khachadurian
that we pour directly back into the podcast and don’t use for ourselves at all

Emily Ladau
but for our birthday if you care about us these two poor cripples and especially if you don’t

Kyle Khachadurian
what patreon.com give us money is this digital panhandling does make the podcast accessible

Emily Ladau
we love accessibility around here we do and we love each other and we love you we love you so much you look so good today especially you you look good today people named kyle and emily thanks so much for listening see you next time bye bye